Archive for April, 2006

…it’s so close but so far away…
(Be sure to read the post previous to this…done pretty much the same day haha)

Just basically got settled down after my evening tonight. Was feeling pretty alone for alot of the night even though I had alot of company. My mind is concentrated on a specific someone right now. It was good to hang out with this paticular group tonight however. I really enjoyed tonight. I will tell you of our epic adventures to the best of my ability!

I ended up going to the station mall with my good friends kyle n’ mark hoffman. We just walked around for a good hour & a bit doing really nothing but kill time. It was fun but boring at the same time. We saw alot of people n’ left the mall with nothing. We were kinda waiting around to see if frank needed a lift home but he didn’t so we kinda just left. We ended back at my place for abit where I spoke with a few people on msn. We then wasted some time playing some Halo…which is always a good time killer…ya right haha. We also stopped to get a 24 of lucky on the way home..i forgot to mention that part.

Anyways, eventually Joe came over & joined the party. It was after 9pm by this time & it was myself, Joe, Mark, Kyle & Bob (Marc). We were bored, playing some tunes, fucking around on the xbox & talking. But we all wanted to do something. Some of us wanted to go to house parties, others wanted to go for epic drunk walks, others wanted to rent 25 hookers & see how many we can get done in 15 minutes, & others really just wanted to do something fun. I’ll leave it up to you to guess which one I suggested. haha. Anyways, we were fucking bored & just ended up debaiting what to do for at least 2 hours! We had a case of beer in my jeep & no-one did anything about it!

I don’t remember the time, but finally we decided what we were gunna do tonight. By this time however, Mark had left my house & it was just the 4 of us. We finally said ‘fuck it’ & left the basement to try to do something. We figured we’d take my car since joe’s truck fit 3 nicely. We had 4 people so we figured it was best..plus we had a 24 in the back seat! Clearly ‘SMRT’! We met up with Mark who was at home. He wanted to bring his own car because he had to leave by 12 to call his girlfriend or something?? Whatever haha..but anyways, we began our journey! We headed to A&P! (This happens often)

We pull into the A&P parkinglot & finally park after senseless driving around trying to hit each others cars. Before we get into the building I run into another person I know! Victor! He was gathering karts. We go inside & begin our epic food search. We failed in finding anything free but we left with glorious treasures which we scammed like mother fuckers! Seriously, we have skillz beyond belief. Joe & Bob bought some chocolate milk shit & boxes of Joe Louies. Mark bought a Yo-Play juice thingy & crackers. Kyle & I bought forks & a cake. Yes, we bought a fucking cake haha! It was $7 bucks cheapier since we switched price tags with a cheaper cake lol. Good trick huh? Well it will be worth it…listen to that part later!

As we leave the A&P, Mark drives off to do whatever & the 4 of us get back in the Jeep! Sexy Cherokee! We pull out & get on Great Northern. We are heading down towards bruce st & kyle opens the cake. He starts to eat some & I get all like: "Dood, wtf? I want some of that shit too!". So we stop at the stop lights, & I also start eating the cake. We are talking a full out double decker fruit cake thingy that is getting pwned at an intersection while I am still driving. It was good & distracting. I decided to find a back alley to pull over so we all may binge the cake. Well, we got a good portion done but there was so much cake, & kyle was feeling just as sick as me over how much we ate. We knew what must be done.

TIME TO GO ‘CAKE’ SOME NOOBS!

We went driving around to cake some fucker but we didn’t really find anyone nor felt a random person wasnt deserving. So, we did the next best thing. Yah, im pissed we didnt cake some fucker too..I just wanted to own someone like the old times..but no, not tonight. This shall be saved for deserving fuckers. Anyways, back to the cake. We pulled up to some stop sign & these 3 kids walked by..we yelled at them & asked if they wanted the rest of the cake. They agreed. We gave them forks. They started eating it. I found it funny as I drove away..i mean how do they know its fine? I coulda just blown a epic load in it OR we coulda cleveland steamer’d it…haha…ah well, we didnt…so it was cool. They looked high anyways so have a good night guys! haha..

As we drive around, we wanna find something to do..can we do it? YES WE CAN! For the second time today, I find myself after a good half our of random driving & chaos pulling into Bellveue Park again. We decided to park in the MnR parking since the park is suppose to be closed & its just easier to park elsewhere rather on the road. We get out & decided to go exploring. It was good times! It was dark, but after we climbed the first hill we got blinded by a very powerful light! It was blinding like a fucker. We ran around, climbed shit & almost fell into the river. Yup. It was a strong light. We then walked around & watched people do drug deals avoiding detection. (Yes we were bored)..after we got bored watching all the cars pulling up & leaving, we started to head back to the jeep. On the way, we heard people. We wanted to see where they were so we snuck around. After we noticed they parked on the lawn & who knows what they were doing, we thought it was go time.

We walked back to the Jeep but instead, Joe: "Lets go to the Park!".
Yup, we did. And…well…it was AWESOME! It really was a good time. We climbed around on all the fucking stuff. It’s been since grade 7-8 since i’ve done this…It was fun, no little kids, good company & we can be as loud as we wanted. We hit up every playground thingy, including the swings, tire swing, slides, & that god damn merry-go-round thingy…fuck, i hate those! We had a good 45 minutes there until we got bored & said its home time haha.

On the way back, we were having good laughs when we saw at least 6 police cars parked all over the city in different areas with their lights on. I suggested it was perfect time to cause crime since the pigs are all just parked around the sault..we all had nothing really to do so we  said, whatever..& headed back to my place. We got back here, we watched Futurama but we are all exhausted. We all decided it was bed time at the same time. Joe n’ bob & kyle left & I spent another 15 mins or so typing this out! So much more can be added but this is a pretty good general idea of the night. It was good. I have great friends who are around when I need them. Fucking Great guys, good times, many more to come.

I have a busy day planned tomorrow..I hope to have some time to add in for a few specific people, but if not. That is fine! There is always Sunday. I will now add a new foto album & go to bed! Have a good one & thanks for the read! Hope you enjoyed.

-ryan

…stay awhile & breathe me in…

well hello again my millions & millions of readers! Well, maybe not that many but there are a few of you & you know who you are! It’s been awhile since my last entry but here it is! Alot of stuff has happened since the last entry which I need to address or at least talk about.

Well alot of you know I recently had some hard times with my family & have just recently been getting better & living each day ot its fullest once again. Since about the Monday last week i’ve been in an awesome mood. Things have taken a turn for the best & I couldn’t have not been more happy with the way things were going. Everything has just been on a positive level. I quit NCO, prolly the best thing to be done in awhile. The place licks balls. I’ve been applying to a bunch of new places such as, Joey’s, Lawn care companies, cross country..well, I definatly got an interview at cross country in the upcoming weeks to come. Beats NCO anyday. However there are its downfalls from working there..

Kev’s back in town which is cool. We’ll be TT’ing up at the camp this weekend. Alot of beer & whiskey will be in attendance to this event. It’s good to be with everyone since my time has been limited for them. They understand, or at least I think they do since I do have alot of things going on right now. With work added on, I just hope I can see them more than just ‘every odd time’. They are good people & i do miss them every once & awhile haha..

The band has been not as busy this week. We’ve all had different things to attend to so it kinda made gathering a little difficult. Tomorrow we are gunna jam, but I don’t know if we’ll have a drummer yet again. If not, it’ll be a short sesh. I don’t feel like spending all day strings again. Not in a bad way, but we need to put those vox & drums to what we got. Oh well, shits going good considering Mike lost all his stuff on his computer..lost alot of orignal material which sucks…but we’ll manage.

Trying to get outdoors as much as possible lately. It’s nice out & I wanna be outside. It’s just a good feeling. I just want to start doing stuff but its still a little cool at times. The waterfront was warm until Tiff & I walked closer to land…weird…we didnt ask questions.

My mind has recently been puzzled. I hate when this happens because its just so much energy wasted thinking about things. Shit got a little confusing last night which lead to some awkward situations…but its all been taken care of & im just letting everything absorb in. I mean, the overall conclusion is a good one..but theres always some stuff you hear that will get you just a little down. I’m feeling a little down right now, but nothing life threatening. Not in an emo way, just trying to figure things out & think about things. I really need to be with someone right now..this silence of being alone right now is bad. I just wanna be with someone besides the obvious person i want to be with right now…

Things are going very well with Tiff. Personally, I think the best we’ve been in a long time. This makes me happy. She’s a great girl & i’m really happy/lucky to be with her. I truly mean that when I say it. I’ve never really felt this way about any girl before & im just overall happy right now. I miss her quite often. I look forward to things to come with her & will always be there when needed for her.

Anyways, i’m gunna head out now for abit, but i’ll be back. Maybe to edit but I wanna add some new fotos later, so I’ll do that for sure tonight. Anyways, take it easy & have a good one. Hope you enjoyed the updated.

-ryan

when all the cards have been left on the table…

Well Happy Easter Everyone. It’s a fucking nice day out & it’s going to be good to sit down with the family today & just be with them after the past loss we have suffered. It’s tough to lose a family member. She will be in my heart today.

Celebrated last night with my great friends. My room has a terrible smell of alcohol but it was worth it. I spent over $300 this weekend feeding myself booze (when I heard the news of the family) & other things. I think it was worth it. I was saving my money up to do something special but I guess that will just have to wait. Will-power is hard to control.

I look forward to today alot for several reasons. Things should be getting alot better after today. This I know for sure. It’s been dark for too long & it’s been making things hard for everyone. After this weekends acts I know its not worth holding so much emotion over. Things will get better starting today .

Well i’m off to be with the loved ones. Later days —>

-ryan

Seriously i’m fucking getting really tired of this bullshit. What, is simple fucking happiness just way too much to ask for? I haven’t done anything to deserve any more fucking crap than i’ve been given so far. SERIOUSLY FUCK OFF! Enough is enough. But apparently its not. Gimme a fucking break for fuck sakes…

looks like im not getting better…

So with all of my personal affairs aside right now, i’m getting really fucking angry now. It’s not even funny of how far this bullshit is going. I’ve been constantly sick since the first week of the college strike. When I even thought I recovered from the illness it comes back outta no-where & hits me 10 times harder than the first. The second time seems to be the worst by far. It kinda paralized my legs & brought alot of physical pain to my shoulders & upper body later. A week later after missing school & everything else…I think I would finally be on the road to recovery. Nope. It’s getting so crazy i’m getting a doctors appointment to find out what the fuck is wrong with me. My legs are still weak a whole week later & randomly my throat starts to kill me. I mean, I have fucking shit I got to do. I don’t need this to burden me anymore than it has.

Maybe i’ve just gotten up on the wrong side of the bed today..don’t know how thats possible if you’ve seen my room…but I’ve been in a god damn rage since monday. I just want to break anything that is wanting to get in my way from getting my shit done. Maybe even go outta the way to break anything that might get in the way. Fucking everything…heh but on the humorous side of things, i’m good with rage haha. But back to seriousness. Im not sure why i’m getting so angry so easily besides my obvious reason of being mad. It’s really making me unhappy. Very unhappy & I have nobody to talk to lately.

Wonderfully, since i’m ill & can’t do fuck all right now besides log on to write this blog..if you choose to read you get to put up with my ranting bullshit. Fuck it all man..seriously. Driving me to points of aggression & rage that i’m getting sick of. I have fucking goals to be completing on my own time & if i’m sick I can’t get them done. Stuck in a dead end job. I can’t get the time to apply to new places. I can’t fucking concentrate on my next year. I can’t fucking get the time to work on band material. I can’t fucking leave my fucking house. I can’t fucking go outside & do simple yard work to keep me happy. I can’t do anything because of my illness. Fuck sakes..

I have nothing to be looking forward to right now & boo fucking hoo! I don’t give a rats ass. I’ll find something & when I do..hA! I’ll hopefully become so busy that i’ll have no fucking free time ever again! Then I won’t need to be worrying about anything. Things are fucking stupid. Fucking stupid stupid. MSN is a fucking annoyance now. Fucking hate this piece of junk.

I get to go to work tonight & burn out my sick voice. Ya! It’s gunna be awesome times. I gots me a hair cut for tomorrow also. I didn’t book it but i’ll go to it. Fucking care no more. It’s coming at perfect time so now I can remove this junk before any longer. So i’m debaiting on cutting it away tomorrow. We’ll see. I’m also gunna spend some cash on a gym membership I think. With all this free time i’ll get back into the awesome shape I was in & fucking fly again. You’ll see. fucking junk..

Well now. I’m still coughing & I should get ready for work. Why haven’t they fired me yet? Fucking gross ass job. Oh I havent even talked about my other issues?
Whattyah know..ugh makes me confused & shit..I dont get it..its not even a big issue but its sad really..

-ryan

hope you enjoyed..

The past few days have been very productive for me regarding the band. Last night at work, I managed to write a new song, well the lyrics anyways. I also managed to find some inspiration for future lyrics based on some things I’ve read & what not. When I got home last night, I managed to find some old lyrics I wrote back in 2004. Talk about old, but it might be useful.

Been working hard at getting the new tunes down. I hope to have at least 4 of the 5 or 6 ready by this weekend. I’ve also started to record & tab any cool basslines I may come up with. I have a few older tabs that I wrote about the same time as the lyrics, but we’ll see what the guys think. It’s gunna be a very interesting project thats for sure. No-body is gunna be ready for us. I mean, it’s gunan be different from all the stuff that is local right now & I can see this going somewhere further than this small city.

Felt kinda wierd last night. Not really a good thing. The mood I was in last night lead me to being physically sick today, but it’s nothing major. Had a Dentist appointment today…literally had to run for it since my mom called to tell me this 5 minutes after I was suppose to be there. Sigh. There goes another hour of wasted time.

As of now, I think i’m gunna finish cleaning & then i’ll be playing some bass tonight. I think the "Cover band" wants a jam practice tonight but I can’t really attend. I’m in a far ‘heavier’ mood than the shit they are gunna be playing. Tonight should be good, suppose to be hanging with the GF..thats cool since it’s been a little while. Ah well.

Well, i’m gunna get started on this shit & i’ll be writing again later as always.

-ryan